Frustrated by years of violent religious conflict, the leaders of the world’s three great religions decided to resolve their differences by holding a golf tournament. Each party would send one of their holy men to represent them in the tournament.

Hoping to gain an advantage, the Pope called Jack Nicklaus and asked him to play.

“But I’m not a priest,” Nicklaus said.

“Not a problem,” said the Pope. “I’ll make you a Cardinal.”

A few weeks later, Cardinal Nicklaus made a phone call to the Vatican. “Your holiness,” he said. “I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I beat Ayatollah Trevino. The bad news is that I lost to Rabbi Woods.”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.

Like a modern Robinson Crusoe, Bob had been stuck on a desert island for ten years.

One day, a boat appeared off shore, and a woman swam to the beach in scuba gear.

“My goodness,” she said, after seeing his treehouse and farm plot. “How long have you been here?”

“Ten year,” Bob said.

“Well, she said, “I’ll bet you could really use a cigar.” She unzipped pocket and pulled out a cuban and lit it up.

Bob took a deep drag. “That’s just wonderful”

“And,” she said. “I’ll bet you could use a beer.” She opened a waterproof bag and pulled out a can.

Bob downed the beer greedily.

“Now,” she said. “Lets have some real fun.” And she began to unzip her suit.

Bob got excited. “Don’t tell me you’ve got some golf clubs in there, too!”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.

Tiger Woods meets Stevie Wonder in a bar and the get to talking about golf.

“I’m a great golfer,” Stevie says. “I never lose a match.”

“I don’t understand,” Tiger says. “How do you know where to hit the ball?”

“Its easy,” Stevie said. “My caddie goes out to the middle of the fairway and shouts my name. I just hit it toward the sound. And when I get on the green, he kneels down next to the hole, puts his mouth near the cup and calls my name. I can tell from the sound how to line up, and how hard to hit it. I never lose.”

“That’s amazing,” said Tiger. “But I don’t believe you.”

“O.K., “ says Stevie. “How about we play a match for $100,000 dollars.”

“You’re on,” Tiger says. “When do we play?”

“Any night next week.”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.

My kids have several remote control cars that they run around the house. Finally, someone has one for dad.

Remote Control Golf Cart

A man and his wife are lying in bed, reading books when she asks one of those trick questions.

“Darling. If I died, would you get married again?”

He thought for a moment and said “Well, I suppose I would. We’ve been very happy, and I’m sure you would want me to be happy again.”

“Well, would you let her wear my clothes?”

He thought and said. “You have impeccable taste. It would be a shame to let those clothes go to waste.”

“And would you let her play with my golf clubs?”

“Of course not. She’s left handed.”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.