Talk about a bad lie.

Here’s a pretty funny April Fools golf column.

Petosky is a beautiful city in the upper lower peninsula of Michigan, which was the summer home of Ernest Hemingway for his first 18 years. You can’t beat the summers there; I have spent many happy weeks at my inlaws cottage on nearby Mullett Lake.

Unfortunately, as nice as the summers are, the winters are long and cold. And this one has been worse than usual.

So there’s this very funny column in the Petosky News about Undiagnosed Golf Hysteria—a syndrome you get when you have suffered through a too-long winter and are waiting anxiously for signs of spring.

I say the heck with spring. As soon as the snow is gone from the ground, I’m playing—no matter what the temperature.

The Dubai Golf Club is offering free golf lessons from “top” teaching pros during the Dubai Classic Week.

Now all you have to do is get there.

Here’s an end of the week golf joke for you:

A young man had recently joined a new golf club and after a couple of weeks of playing the course was looking for some action. That’s when noticed the Oldest Member.

Aha, thought the Newest Member. I’ll bet I can win some money off this guy.

He strikes up a conversation with the Oldest Member who very candidly reveals that he has a good game, but has trouble getting out of deep bunkers.

At this point, the Newest Member thinks that he has the old guy, since the course is full of deep pot bunkers.

The two agree to a match and a bet, and tee off.

After the front, the two are all square. The Oldest Member isn’t long off the tee, but he is very straight, and his wedges and putting are deadly. He had gotten into a couple of shallow bunkers, but managed to escape them very well.

That’s ok, thought the Newest Member. The worst of the pot bunkers are on the back nine.

The match stayed even through the next eight. Each man played his own game, and managed to keep pace with the other. Finally, on the last hole, the Oldest Member fell short on his approach shot and landed in the deepest bunker on the course—known as THE WELL.

Knowing that he had the Oldest Member right where he wanted him, the Newest Member hit a safe shot short of the green and the bunker, and then pitched the ball onto the green. One putt for par; two for bogey at worse. Either way, the old guy was stuck in THE WELL.

Gingerly, the Oldest Member worked his way down the sides of the bunker. He took his stance, and then hit an almost vertical shot, which cleared the steep walls, landed softly on the green and rolled into the cup for a birdie.

Stunned that he had lost the match, the Newest Member said: “I thought you had trouble getting out of the deep bunkers.”

“I do,” replied the Oldest Member. “Give me a hand. I can’t get out of this thing on my own.”