This sign outside a McDonald’s struck me as funny. It says a lot about the world we live in: Win a Million and quit your second job.

A million isn’t worth as much as it used to be. And with so many people out of work, who has a SECOND job?

After finding my drive on a very long par five, my GPS indicated that I still had 350 to the green. Not believing the numbers, I looked to a sprinklerhead for confirmation. It said “Just Hit It.”

Seriously. “Just Hit It.” I did. Three wood, and after that, I still had 150 to go. Long story short, I managed a par.

No photo, unfortunately. I tried, but the light, and the depression of the letters was such that it didn’t show up. I’ll look for it the next time I head out that way.

A story I heard recently:

It seems that the junior member was having serious difficulty with his swing, hacking his way around the course and driving his much-valued handicap alarmingly upward. Gadgets, books and videos did no good. Nor did visits to the local pro. The more he tried, the angrier he got. And the angrier he got, the worse he played.

Finally, having seen enough, the senior member spoke up: “I know a pro—a magician, really—who could fix your swing. He took one look at mine a couple of years ago and gave me a fix that took six shots off my score. Best teacher I’ve ever had. The only problem is that he’s on the other side of the state.”

The junior member was so enthusiastic that he almost immediately called the pro to make an appointment.

On the appointed day, the junior member drove two hours to the pro’s course and—having arrived early—went to the range to warm up.

He swing, and missed. “F—-”
Swing. “F—-!”
Swing. “F—-!!”
Swing. “F—-!!!”

Unbeknownst to the junior member, the pro was standing behind him.

“I can’t teach you a thing,” the pro said.

“What? Why?,” the junior member asked. “I drove all the way across the f—-ing state!”

“Because you’re too f—-ing angry, that’s why. And I can’t teach you a f—-ing thing when you’re in that sort of mood.”

It all turned out well in the end. The junior member calmed down, the pro gave his lesson, and the swing returned. And lesson learned, the junior member repeats this story to anyone who will listen.

Scientists have determined that the cause of this week’s DC-Virginia earthquake was the Founding Fathers simultaneously rolling over in their graves.

There’s a great discussion over on Linked In about the three most dreaded words in golf. For those who aren’t on Linked In, here’s a sampler:

You’re Still Away

The Dreaded Snowman

It Never Moved

You Da Man!

Hitting A Provisional

Need More Balls

Out of Bounds

We’ll Find It

Got The Shanks

Another Three Putt!

Is That Thunder?

Do you have any to add?

Perhaps the original golf band: Jake Trout and the Flounders, featuring Peter Jacobson, Mark Lye and Payne Stewart. You can get the Jake Trout and the Flounders album at Amazon