Here’s an end of the week golf joke for you:

A young man had recently joined a new golf club and after a couple of weeks of playing the course was looking for some action. That’s when noticed the Oldest Member.

Aha, thought the Newest Member. I’ll bet I can win some money off this guy.

He strikes up a conversation with the Oldest Member who very candidly reveals that he has a good game, but has trouble getting out of deep bunkers.

At this point, the Newest Member thinks that he has the old guy, since the course is full of deep pot bunkers.

The two agree to a match and a bet, and tee off.

After the front, the two are all square. The Oldest Member isn’t long off the tee, but he is very straight, and his wedges and putting are deadly. He had gotten into a couple of shallow bunkers, but managed to escape them very well.

That’s ok, thought the Newest Member. The worst of the pot bunkers are on the back nine.

The match stayed even through the next eight. Each man played his own game, and managed to keep pace with the other. Finally, on the last hole, the Oldest Member fell short on his approach shot and landed in the deepest bunker on the course—known as THE WELL.

Knowing that he had the Oldest Member right where he wanted him, the Newest Member hit a safe shot short of the green and the bunker, and then pitched the ball onto the green. One putt for par; two for bogey at worse. Either way, the old guy was stuck in THE WELL.

Gingerly, the Oldest Member worked his way down the sides of the bunker. He took his stance, and then hit an almost vertical shot, which cleared the steep walls, landed softly on the green and rolled into the cup for a birdie.

Stunned that he had lost the match, the Newest Member said: “I thought you had trouble getting out of the deep bunkers.”

“I do,” replied the Oldest Member. “Give me a hand. I can’t get out of this thing on my own.”

On an early morning round of golf, I caught up with an older man who also was playing alone. I asked if I could join him.

“Sure”, he said. “I’d love the company. I used to play all the time with my wife.”

“Oh,” I asked. “Doesn’t she play any more?”

“No,” he replied. “She passed away.”

I felt sorry for him and asked if he didn’t have any other friends to play with.

“No,” he replied. “They’re all at the funeral.”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.

Jesus and Moses are playing golf, when they come to a difficult 200 yard par 3 over a pond. Jesus takes his six iron out of the bag and tees it up.

Moses interrupts him. “I think you should hit a five wood here.”

“No,” says Jesus. “I saw Tiger Woods hit this green the other day with a six iron.”

Moses shakes his head and watches as Jesus parks the ball in the water. Jesus tees it up again.

“You should hit a five wood,” Moses repeats.

“No. I saw Tiger do it with a six.” Jesus hits the six iron and sends it into the water again.

Just then the following foursome arrives.

“A six iron,” one of them says. “Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?”

“No,” said Moses. “Tiger Woods.”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.

A golfer returned from his weekly saturday round late, and looking completely exhausted.

“What happened?,” his wife asked.

“Well, I was playing pretty well until Bob dropped dead on the 11th tee.”

“That’s horrible,” his wife said.

“It sure was,” the golfer said. “The last eight holes it was hit a shot, drag Bob, hit a shot drag Bob.”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.

Here’s an extremely funny bit from over on rec.sports.golf. Thanks to Manna Pheuwards for posting it:

Frustrated by years of violent religious conflict, the leaders of the world’s three great religions decided to resolve their differences by holding a golf tournament. Each party would send one of their holy men to represent them in the tournament.

Hoping to gain an advantage, the Pope called Jack Nicklaus and asked him to play.

“But I’m not a priest,” Nicklaus said.

“Not a problem,”  said the Pope. “I’ll make you a Cardinal.”

A few weeks later, Cardinal Nicklaus made a phone call to the Vatican. “Your holiness,” he said. “I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I beat Ayatollah Trevino. The bad news is that I lost to Rabbi Woods.”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.

Like a modern Robinson Crusoe, Bob had been stuck on a desert island for ten years.

One day, a boat appeared off shore, and a woman swam to the beach in scuba gear.

“My goodness,” she said, after seeing his treehouse and farm plot. “How long have you been here?”

“Ten year,” Bob said.

“Well, she said, “I’ll bet you could really use a cigar.” She unzipped pocket and pulled out a cuban and lit it up.

Bob took a deep drag. “That’s just wonderful”

“And,” she said. “I’ll bet you could use a beer.” She opened a waterproof bag and pulled out a can.

Bob downed the beer greedily.

“Now,” she said. “Lets have some real fun.” And she began to unzip her suit.

Bob got excited. “Don’t tell me you’ve got some golf clubs in there, too!”

For more golf jokes, see the humor category.