During the Buick Open telecast, I just heard David Feherty say “Tiger’s on a bare lie that would scare the crap out of the average player.”

Feherty should get out more. We bogey golfers see a lot of those kind of bare lies on the municipal and public courses that we play. In fact, at many of the courses that I play bare—or nearly bare lies are the rule, rather than the exception in the “rough.” It’s only on the PGA tour that you see living room carpet coverage across the entire course.

Golf great Walter Hagen used to say “Three of those and one of these equals par.” What he meant was that you could hit three bad shots and still save par with a good fourth. It was his reminder to never give up on a hole.

I had one of those Hagen rounds today. I was hacking it all over the course, but was determined not to give up on any hole.

But unlike Hagen, for me it was more like “Three of those, plus one of these, and a short putt equals bogey.”

My comical performance on the par five eighth was typical. I hit a drive over the trees onto the adjacent fairway. Then, attempting to get back onto the fairway by going over the trees, I topped the ball and instead bounced it back under the branches. With a long shot at the green over a pond, I hit a five wood fat. I was short and right in some deep rough. My pitch landed just inches from the hole. Tap in. Par.

And so it went.

I don’t keep score while on the course. I record the numbers, but make it a point not to look at the previous hole’s score, or add anything up until after I reach the clubhouse. So at the end of the round, not knowing what my total was, I was sure that I was in triple digits. I felt terrible about my performance. But when I added the scores, I found I had shot an 86.

Hagen was right. Never give up on your round. Just keep grinding away at each hole, and you may end up surprising yourself.

Talk radio, sports bloggers and sports forums are really taking it to Michelle Wie for withdrawing from the John Deere after suffering heat exhaustion. The general tenor of the “conversation” seems to be that her illness was a convenient excuse—that she withdrew because her poor performance and not because of poor health.

One idiot even suggested that she was pregnant.

Now, I’m not a big fan of Michelle playing in Men’s tournaments. I would much rather see her compete on the LPGA (although the LPGA has not seen fit to grant her a card—a topic for another post). But I don’t believe that we have any evidence that would allow us to stick here with the “quitter” label. Indeed, I think that she has rather gamely played her way around the course in every men’s tournament thus far.

Sitting here just up the road in Michigan, I’m quite ready to believe the heat exhaustion story. I doubt that she has ever experienced anything like a midwestern heat-humidity wave.

Heat exhaustion is a dehydration and body temperature problem. It’s likely that she just didn’t hydrate herself enough to begin with. Lack of liquid, combined with heat and humidity drove her body temperature up. Then, as she got hot, she drank large quantities of liquid. But drinking a large amount in a short period of time can make you sick. I’ve seen high school athletes work out in the heat, then drink cup after cup of water, only to throw it all up immediately.

Consumer Reports May 2006 cover story touts their “exclusive test” purporting to reveal the best golf balls.I borrowed a copy from my school’s library and have spent several hours reading and thinking about their golf ball analysis.

On the surface, it seems pretty straightforward. Consumer Reports used an Iron Byron to whack their test golf balls with an eight iron, and a driver. Two driver speeds were used: 90 mph to represent the amateurs, and 110 mph to represent the pros.

Each model of ball was hit a total of 48 times. Twelve swings with an eight iron, and 24 with a driver adds up to 36, so they must also have hit the eight iron shots twice—but they don’t say so. Perhaps they also hit those at two swing speeds.

Consumer Reports says that the balls’ flights were recorded using Doppler Radar, and that the ball speed, launch angle and spin were recorded. They also recorded the ball’s carry distance and its total distance.

They boiled much of this data down to two ratings: Distance with a driver, and spin with an eight iron.

And here’s where I find the major flaw in their report. There’s an awful lot of information that they just leave out. 

The city golf course in Brockton, Massachusetts has instituted a dress code that requires collared shirts and bans jeans, cutoff shorts, and t shirts.

Public reaction understandably is mixed. While some welcome the new code, others defend their right to dress like bums.

I suppose the bums have a point. It is a city course, and as taxpayers they have as much right to it as anyone else. On the other hand, I have noticed that when people are dressed up, their behavior also improves. It’s one thing to swear and throw clubs and swill beer when you’re in t shirts and cut offs. That impulse seems to fade when you’re dressed in khakis and a nice golf shirt.

I can absolutely tell you that on days when the students in my classs are dressed up for a function, their behavior is significantly better.

Interestingly, two of the local courses that I avoid don’t have a dress code. I don’t know if there’s any connection, but these courses also have horribly slow play, and are not particularly well-kept, in terms of trash and such. (Strangely, they are also not any cheaper than surrounding courses)

Clearly, privately owned courses that are open to the public can set a dress code. It is, after all, their property. But I dont’ know about taxpayer financed and subsidized courses.

So I think I’m going to sit squarely on the fence on this one. I like to “dress up” to play golf—I actually think I play better when I’m dressed better. But I’d like to know what others think. Is it appropriate for a municipal course to set a “country club casual” dress code?