It seems as though Al Gore finally has delivered on his promise of global warming. I was beginning to think that he was just like those alarmists in the 1970s who told us that we imminent danger of being overrun with glaciers in a new ice age.

Today, it’ll hit 90 here in Michigan, and I’ve got a round scheduled for just after work. Then tomorrow the warm front will come crashing down; the temperature will drop twenty degrees. By Friday, it’s supposed to be in the lower sixties.

To be sure, I actually will be glad to see the cooler weather. In fact, I think that 65 to 75 is the perfect temperature for golf. If it’s any colder, I have to start thinking about wearing gloves to keep my hands warm and avoid the sting of a hard ball on a metal face. But as the temperature rises, heat and humidity increasingly come into play—especially for those of us who walk.

And at the risk of sounding like a metrosexual, I much prefer cooler weather clothes, too.  I like playing in dockers and a sweatervest. I think there’s a relationship between how I dress and how I play. Dressing nattily puts me in a businesslike frame of mind; I think I play more efficiently, with fewer wild gambles.

Here’s to the return of fall weather!

It’s a sad day here at Golfblogger World Headquarters: Summer now is officially over.

In truth, autumn has been creeping up on us for some time now. The days of playing until nine in the evening have been gone for weeks. The air is a little cooler, and I played a round in long pants last week. In another few days, I’ll unpack my cooler weather gear: flannel lined khakis, fleece vest, thicker golf gloves and wool hat.

There still are some good days of golf left this fall, but all too soon in Michigan, the snow will fly. Then I will clean my clubs one last time, and put them in the shed until a thaw.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled golf program for a rant:

So here’s what it’s come to in Michigan:

After watching the girls golf team play in poor conditions with outdated equipment last spring, Alpena head coach Vicky Lindsay decided to take matters into her own hands.

Lindsay donated $1,000 of $1,300 from her spring coach’s salary for new golf bags, golf umbrellas and rain gear for her team’s 2007 fall season.

“With the budget crisis and the cutting of teachers, I couldn’t justify the need for the athletic department to pay for new golf bags,” said Lindsay. “So I thought of the idea last spring.” (Alpena News)

That golf coach makes $1300 a season. I can tell you from personal experience that coaching a high school golf team is, at a minimum, a 10 week commitment.  That’s at least three hours of practice a day after school, every day of the week. On days when there’s a match, it’s more like six hours, including setup time, travel, cleanup, making sure the players get home, and so on. There also are Saturday events.

So at $1300 a season, Lindsay was probably making $5 an hour. She could do better at McDonald’s. And then she gives away most of it to the kids.

But she’s not after the money. She does it because she loves the kids and she loves the sport. And that’s exactly what Michigan’s legislators are counting on. They can underfund Michigan’s education system because they know that coaches and teachers will take money out of their own pockets to keep it going. I know dozens of teachers who spend literally thousands of their own dollars each year to buy paper, pencils, and other schools supplies for other people’s kids.

I’ve always had what audiologists call a “profound hearing loss,” but have never found it to be a handicap. And I’m sure that the golfer in the video below feels the same way about his little problem.

Inspiring.

via My Daily Slice

SI.Com columnist EM Swift says that golf should stop kidding itself and start testing for performance enhancing. He speculates that they’re already thoroughly embedded on the PGA and LPGA Tours:

On the LPGA Tour I’ve seen enough visual evidence of steroid use—acne, dramatic changes in musculature, increased distance off the tee—to raise my suspicions. Likewise on the PGA Tour, where rumors about the use of beta blockers and benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Valium, which are taken to control anxiety and steady the nerves, have swirled about for years.

Hmm. I’ve got a few random thoughts on this one:

Does that mean that Tiger is the prime suspect for steroid use? If there is any golfer who has had a change in body type, it’s the Striped One. He was a skinny youngster who now looks like a body builder. Just like Barry Bonds. (or maybe, it’s just that he’s matured and is now lifting weights).

Wait. There’s one other body change suspect. David Duvall was shaped like a penguin, became number one in the world, got a sculpted body, fell off the planet and now—making a comeback—is shaped like a penguin again. If he was taking drugs, they certainly weren’t performance enhancing.

The Stadlers are NOT using steroids. We can safely say that about a LOT of guys on Tour. And not just the fat ones. I don’t think Carmello is using them either—unless he’s using ones that take the weight OFF.

Anger issues also are supposed to be a sign of steroid use. I suppose that Tommy Bolt was taking them back in the 1950s. Anyone who doesn’t occasionally have anger issues on the course has never played golf.

The acne problem on the LPGA is probably due to the fact that so many of their players are teenagers. Or that the new imperative to wear more makeup has them clogging their pores when that stuff dissolves and melts in the sweat of 90 degree heat (Mrs. GolfBlogger confirms this as a surefire way to ruin your complexion).

I can’t imagine how steroids could help you play golf. Strength doesn’t equate to higher swing speed. And no steroid is going to help you sink a 15 foot putt. I’m a strong guy—stonger for my size than most—but it doesn’t help me hit the ball 300 yards (I can’t). It MIGHT help me dig it out of the rough—a place where I spend far too much time. (Strength, however, does help me humiliate the football players in my classes when I beat them arm wrestling. It sort of solidifies my position in the room as the Alpha Male.)

And as for the nerve-controlling drugs, I suppose that there are some out there that take them. I have a hard time, however, trying to figure out how this is different from the players who smoke or drink alcohol. If they are obtaining them illegally, that’s one thing ... but if they have a prescription.

Beta blockers are used by 27 percent of symphony orchestra musicians. I think we should be testing them, too. A violinist on beta blockers may be illegally and immorally holding the first chair from a violinist not on beta blockers.

Male porn stars need to be tested for Viagra. We wouldn’t want one to have an advantage over another. Ditto female porn stars with silicon implants. Implants have, after all, been shown to be bad for you; and Viagra has side effects.

As a guy with libertarian sympathies, I don’t really have a problem with athletes using performance enhancing drugs. They are trading money for life expectancy and health and they are fully cognizant of the effects. The most dangerous job in the US is deep sea fisherman. The fishermen know this and are willing to trade life expectancy and health for the pay. Ditto miners, taxi drivers, convenience store clerks and other dangerous positions.