Tiger Woods is T7 and three shots back of co-leaders Robert Karlsson and Rory McIlroy, having carded a 70 (-2) in the first round of the Abu Dhabi Championship. As of this writing, though (5:22 am ET), other still could climb up the boards. Graeme McDowell is at -3 after eight. Lots of others still are on the course.

Tiger hit 17 of 18 greens, but needed 34 putts to finish them off. He says he made good putts, but was “fooled on a lot of my reads” thanks to “grainy” greens.

It’ll be interesting to see how this unfolds.

Update: Woods finished in a T9, still three shots back.

Tiger Woods turns 36 today.

I wish him well. Really, I do. He’s had a rough couple of years (albeit of his own making), and right now he’s got to be thinking about his golfing mortality. There’s no denying that physically (if not mentally) he’s somewhere on the back nine of his career. That’s a rough spot to be in. So, with a nod to Conway Twitty, instead of gifts, I’d like to take some things away.

I’d like to take away Tiger’s single minded pursuit of Majors. I actually think that he would have a better chance of breaking Jack’s record if he gave up the idea of breaking Jack’s record. Just play golf for the love of playing golf.

In that same vein, I’d take away the cynical scheduling. I’d tell him to play a few second tier events just because of the joy it would bring others—not because it’s a part of some grand strategy for winning Majors. Tiger should play the St. Jude, or the John Deere. The fans would remember it forever, and the associated charities would reap benefits for years to come. Tiger would accumulate some much needed good karma.

Then, I’d take away Tiger’s false friends and handlers. He needs people who love him enough to say no. I think he’s missed that since his father passed.

I’d take away the greed that leads him to play Abu Dhabi for the appearance fee instead of teeing it up at Torrey Pines where he is much beloved.

I’d take away the snarl on his face and replace it with the smile he had in his first few years on the Tour. My mother used to comment on Tiger’s “beautiful smile” and how happy he seemed. We don’t see enough of that now.

I’d take away the mask he wears at press events. His intentionally uninformative answers make him seem less human, less approachable and much less likable. Sticking to that agent-generated script has to put a strain on his psyche. “Refreshing Candor” should replace “tightly scripted.”

Finally, I’d take away all of the public’s and media’s expectations. It’s ok if Tiger doesn’t win or contend every time out. It’s ok to occasionally miss a cut. Tiger’s script says that those expectations don’t affect him, but that’s just unrealistic. There is no human being who can pass through that sort of media and public scrutiny unaffected.

I know that in this blog, I’ve been condemned as a “Tiger Hater.” The truth is that I have neither the time nor energy to hate anyone. I have, however, been consistently critical and I think a tad more realistic than the fawning masses of reporters. If the PGA Tour beat reporter or columnist offer a less than favorable critique, he runs the risk of never getting another interview. Unlike them, I have nothing to lose by offering realistic criticism. I’m never going to get an interview with Tiger under any circumstances.

I always operate under the premise that criticism is a good thing. When I was a cub reporter, my first editor absolutely savaged (in red grease pencil, no less) the first article I wrote. I was devastated because I’d worked so hard on the piece, and knew that I could write (at least, that’s what I had always been told). My editor, however, said something that I’ve carried with me ever since: Criticism is the acknowledgement that you can do better.

Tiger can do better. He just needs to let a few things go.

After Tiger’s win at the Chevron World Challenge yesterday, a Golf Channel analyst gushed “The Big Cat Is Back!”

Really? I suppose it is a step in the right direction. But a win in the 18-player Chevron (even considering the World Ranking points it bestows) doesn’t prove anything. It was a win, and a year from now, we might look back and say this was the first step to another vintage Tiger season. Or, we might look back and say that this was his last hurrah.

Needing the ratings and readers, the media is sure to play this one for all it is worth. Don’t be fooled. Any declaration of a “return” is just media hype and the fawning of sycophants.

I actually think Tiger would agree with me on this one. It’s a step, but no proof. He, as much as anyone, knows how hard it is to win a regular season event, much less a Major.

Tiger at the Chevron on winning tournaments: They’re not easy. People don’t realize how hard it is to win golf tournaments. I’ve gone on streaks where I’ve won golf tournaments in a row, but still ... I don’t think I’ve taken it for granted. And I know because of how hard it is.

Winning Majors—not just mere tournaments—is the standard that Tiger has set for himself. That’s an extraordinarily difficult task. But anything less makes him not the Tiger of old.

For a period of time, Tiger was as good as anyone who ever played the game. For a period of time, Terry Bradshaw was as good as anyone who ever played football. But time marches on, and new heroes supplant the old. Considering the possibility that Tiger’s time has passed is just realistic.

As I said in previous post, I’ll believe Tiger is “back” when he proves that he’s currently as good as Keegan Bradley: two wins and a Major in a single season.

I watched the third round of the Chevron Challenge today and agreed with the television pundits that Tiger looks like he’s on his way back. The question is: how far back will he come? I don’t think that anyone believed that he’d pull a Baker-Finch or a Duval and drop off the golf planet entirely (although the thought has crossed my mind). On the other hand,there’s a huge gap between playing like a solid Tour player and returning to Tiger dominance.

I’m often accused of being overly critical of Tiger on this blog. From my perspective, however, I’m just being realistic. Tiger’s thirty six, and has had multiple knee surgeries. The PGA and European Tours now have a huge stockpile of impressively talented players. I don’t think it’s unrealistic to think that’s a lot to overcome. In my analysis, each month that passes while we wait for “Tiger’s Return” makes it more unlikely that we’ll see it.

But I don’t know whether I have a case of confirmation bias in this instance, or if Tiger’s supporters do. So I’m going to pose two questions that can be answered empirically: First, what evidence would convince you that Tiger is back as a major force on the Tour? Conversely, what would convince you that his career has entered its sunset—or will be merely average from here on?

Here are my answers:

I’ll be convinced that he’s back as a major force if he wins a Major and five or six other tournaments over the course of this next year. That, I think, is the minimum standard Tiger set for himself in his era of dominance. Two wins and no major or a single major makes him no better than Keegan Bradley (a fine player, to be sure, but not Old Tiger in his dominance).

On the other hand, if Tiger fails to meet either of those standards this next year, I’ll be absolutely convinced his era of dominance is over. That’ll be three years without a Major, and three without a multiple win season. And as I said before, each passing year makes his return less likely.

Golf Digest apparently has an ipad app that—like the Wooly Willy magnetic toy—lets you add new hair and whiskers to the Striped One.

Maybe they’re right, and what he needs to reestablish his dominance is a new look. I’m thinking a Richard Roundtree look would work best.

Shaft is one scary dude.

Here’s a gallery of some creations:

Yesterday, I wrote that I expected Tiger to make the cut—I was even thinking easily—if only because of the relative paucity of talent at the Frys.Com Open. I set the bar low, and Tiger failed to clear it. He was beaten by his amateur partner by four strokes.

I still expect him to play on the weekend, but the sight of him losing balls, driving wildly and missing critical putts can’t be encouraging to Fred Couples. I’ve written that I thought Fred made a mistake in giving Tiger a Captain’s Pick, and I stick to my belief. Its true that he was playing in the rain—but then so was his partner Patrick Cantlay, who shot -2.

Tiger should withdraw from the President’s Cup.

UPDATE: I just read this: for the YEAR, Tiger is just 7 under.

Tiger will tee it up this afternoon at around 3:10 EST. He will be in a group with Louis Oosthuizen and amateur Patrick Cantlay. You can see it on The Golf Channel Starting at 4 pm EST.

Any predictions?