Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: A Rock ‘n’ Roller’s 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict

I have never been a fan of Alice Cooper’s music (in fact, I wouldn’t recognize it if it came on the radio). When I was in high school,—and he in his heyday – I was listening to an eclectic list of artists that included Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra and the Allman Brothers. My friends listened to Cooper, though, and thought my tastes just more evidence of my oddness.

That said, it’s a tribute to the book that – after reading it – I want to go back and listen to some of his “classic” works.

In many ways, Golf Monster is a standard autobiography. Cooper begins with his birth and childhood in Detroit, and takes the reader through several family moves which resulted in his high school years in Arizona, where he became a track star and began his musical career.

At that point, it becomes the story of the rise of a rock star. The early years are lean, but “romantic”, as Cooper and his band live a hand-to-mouth existence. Then come the breaks, the rise to stardom, depravities and addiction. Finally, Cooper checks into a treatment center (one of the first big names to do so), dries out and recovers his life. Ultimately, he becomes a Christian and refocuses his art (still a shock rocker, but now a shock rocker for Christ).

Much of the fun of the book is in the stories that Cooper tells about people he has met: Salvador Dali, Frank Sinatra, the Doors, George Burns, Tiger Woods, John Daly, Arnold Palmer, and many more.

A couple of things about Cooper’s story stood out for me. First, he was not nearly as depraved as I would have imagined. In many ways, he was – and is – astoundingly normal. I have known people in my life who are much further out in left field. (There apparently is nothing to the biting a head off a bat chicken story).

Second, I found myself liking him. As this is an autobiography, you have to consider the source, but Cooper comes across as a genuinely caring guy. His relationship with the aging – and declining – Groucho Marx is touching. His friendships with other people whose lives have crossed his seem quite rich.

Still, the short version of the book is no different from a lot of rock biographies. What makes it different – and relevant to this blog— is that Cooper seriously credits golf with having saved him. Apparently possessed of an addictive personality, he refocused that addiction from alcohol to golf. (I actually suspect that golf attracts a great many addictive personalities). Cooper says that he plays 36 holes a day and carries a five handicap.

The book actually begins with Coopers’ account of his trip to the legendary Pine Valley golf club. And between chapters, he offers advice on the game – a great deal of which I found useful. At the end is an appendix with golf instruction.

I can recommend this book for a lot of reasons. But in the end, I’ll say this. In spite of not particularly liking Cooper’s brand of music, he’s now on my short list of people I’d like to meet. And maybe even play a round of golf.

Pabby’s Score
by James Ross

I had the opportunity to read and review the pre-release form of James Ross’ Pabby’s Score. The published version may be different.

In Pabby’s Score, author James Ross returns his fans to Prairie Winds and the eclectic cast of characters who inhabit that mythical course’s clubhouse.

This time around, though, Ross has not written a golf novel, per se, but rather a novel set in and around a golf course. The plot encompasses not a single round of golf (that we observe). Instead, it’s hard boiled fiction that includes crooked lawyers, corrupt politicians (but I repeat myself), insurance fraud, murder, gambling, secret societies, Indian rituals, autism, Alzheimers’ child abuse, internet porn and dating, infidelity, incest and biker gangs. Think Mickey Spillane, James Ellroy or Elmore Leonard (all of whom I enjoy). At times it all seems a bit much, but Ross manages to pull it back together in the end.

Given the subject matters, Pabby’s Score is no lighthearted stroll from tee to green. It’s serious, edgy, grim, and at times wince-inducing. Ross pulls no punches. Pabby’s Score was hard for me to read at some points (a function of the content, not the writing). If books carried a movie rating, this one would be an R—or maybe an NC-17.

Still, in the end, Ross rewards the reader by doing what he does best—creating memorable, well realized characters. In some ways, this novel is as much character study as thriller. By the end, the characters are real enough to occupy a corner of your own clubhouse. And if you have read any of Ross’ previous novels, the recurring characters will make you feel as though it is a bit of a homecoming.

I don’t know if I can recommend this novel for the general golf audience. There’s just a little too much “edge” and not very much golf. But if you’re a fan of Ross’ earlier novels—which are very much golf stories—I think you’ll like this one.

The Foursome: A Novel

Grade: B
Teacher’s Comments: An interesting character study.

Troon McAllister’s The Foursome is less golf story than character study or psychological thriller. As one reviewer put it, The Foursome is a golf story in the same way Moby Dick is a story about a whale. It’s less Moby Dick, though, than it is Lord of the Flies.

The main characters—a doctor, an ad man, an investment banker and an engineer— are part of a regular group with rotating responsibilities for planning the annual golf trip. Responding to a mysterious invitation, the engineer books them on a trip that bills itself as the “Most memorable golf vacation you’ve ever had or you don’t pay. No money up front.” Destination unknown.

That unknown destination is an exclusive tropical golfing paradise, run by mysterious owners for unknown purposes. The outing starts wonderfully, but begins to fall apart when the foursome becomes obsessed with playing a money game with the resort’s owners. A perfect vacation then becomes a nightmare for the foursome as greed and suspicion expose their character flaws.

Overall, The Foursome is a pretty good afternoon’s entertainment. However, as as the group falls apart, I found it sometimes difficult to read in the same way I find it difficult to watch when a character in television or in the movies is about to make a total ass of themselves.

The Foursome is one of several McAllister novels featuring the world’s greatest gambling golfer, Eddie Caminetti. I’ve not read the others yet, but based on my experience with The Foursome, I’m going to look for them.

Mulligan’s Golf And Cocktail Club: The Essential Guide to the Golf Game and Its Spirits

Looks interesting. From the publisher:

Taking on the language of golf in a manner that is interesting and entertaining for players of all levels, this book contains humorous translations of 100 of the game’s most frequently used terms in English, Spanish, and German. Golf terms such as dogleg, shank, bunker, and bogey are among the chosen terms defined, along with tips and recommendations that will help golfers play better and derive more enjoyment from the game. A specially concocted series of 100 cocktails is also included, each bearing the name of one of the book’s golf terms. This humor book is great not only for golf enthusiasts, but for lounges and restaurants where golfers and their friends gather.

Scotland’s Golf in Days of Steam

Looks interesting. But a USED copy starts at $125

Discount Textbooks On Amazon

The Nine Tenths Rule (A Bainbridge Diaries golf themed legal mystery novel)

by Stephen E Mitchell

Grade: A
Teacher’s Comments: Original story; Interesting Characters

The Nine Tenth’s Rule’s title refers to the legal principle that “possession is nine tenths of the law.”  That maxim is at the core of Stephen Mitchell’s debut novel, which revolves around a mad bet between two wealthy Englishmen, and an Old Tom Morris putter.

The main characters in the story are the third generation descendants of two eccentric English lords who bet their entire estates on the final outcome of an annual golf match. The bet had long been forgotten, but when an estate sale unearths the pact, the search is on for the putter—the possessor of which secures both estates.

Working out the legal aspects of this bizarre bet is Maurice Bainbridge, principal of the firm of Bainbridge and Bainbridge. Maruice’s grandfather Edward had worked out the original paperwork on the bet, and now it’s up to him to work out the original intent and see justice done with the heirs.

Mitchell has more Bainbridge novels in mind, for a substantial subplot revolves around the discovery by solicitor Maurice Bainbridge of his grandfather’s diaries. Those diaries apparently contain many more mysteries to be solved. There’s no indication of whether any of those will involve golf.

In tone, The Nine Tenth’s Rule reminds me of the work of PG Wodehouse. The setting is upper crust England, the characters quirky, and the humor sly. The Nine Tenth’s Rule is not a “funny” book, but it’s much lighter than the usual legal fare of Grisham, Turow, or Connelley.

The novel is well written, aside from a few editing errors, such as “... their contest—one embarked upon in a fit of peak in the summer of 1921.” That should be “pique.” There were a few others that I caught—and probably a few that I didn’t.

In all, though, I enjoyed the book. Recommended