This was just emailed to me. I have no idea whether or not it’s really a Letterman Top Ten list, but it is funny.

David Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex :
10.  A below par performance is considered damn good.
9.  You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
8.  It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.
7.  Foursomes are encouraged.
6.  You can still make money doing it as a senior.
5.  Three times a day is possible.
4.  Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
3.  If you live in Florida , you can do it almost everyday.
2.  You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.

And the number one reason why golf is better than sex ..

1.  If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it.

Braun Pulsonic System 9595 with LCD Screen

I got one of the new Braun Pulsonic razors for Christmas and am so impressed with it that I thought I’d pass on my recommendation.

I’ve been an electric razor guy all my life. I’ve never thought that playing with a sharp object near my throat when I’m half awake was a good idea. Over the years, I’ve owned Remingtons, Norelcos and Brauns; the Pulsonic is far and away the best razor I’ve ever owned.

The key to the razor seems to be the “pulsonic technology”, which provides 10,000 “microvibrations” per minute. This is supposed to provide more comfort while exposing and cutting more hair. They’ve also borrowed some gadgetry from Gillette, which is supposed to reduce tugging and pulling. And the new foil is supposed to pick up hairs that are growing in different directions.

All I really know is that it works. The Braun Pulsonic sweeps away the stubble with a single pass, leaving behind naught but smooth face. There’s none of the pinching, tugging and occasional tearing that I’ve occasionally had with other razors. Indeed, the shave is so soft, and so smooth that I don’t need to use the electric shave face prep cream that I have always applied.

I actually enjoy shaving with this thing.

Another great feature of the razor is the charging/cleaning dock. When you’re done with a shave, you put the razor into its holder and an onboard computer assesses the power level and cleanliness of the razor. If it needs cleaning, it instructs you to push a button. This causes the station to flush the razor with a cleaning solution that is held in the base. I clean it every couple of shaves, when the lights indicate that it’s at the mid level. (The head also can be cleaned with water, so you don’t have to take the dock with you when you travel.)

The razor is on the expensive side, but I’m convinced that in the long run, the price is comparable, if not cheaper than shaving with razors.

Golf Jesus

Jesus is the reason for the season, but this is ridiculous.

Ridiculous Golf Item of The Week

A golf center in the Chicago area has installed a new practice system called Top Golf. A story in the Chicago Tribune describes it:

TopGolf is a futuristic three-story facility that uses high-tech computer technology to provide a unique interactive experience. It starts by using golf balls embedded with microchips, registering them as your ball.

You hit those balls into 11 dartboard-like greens, which have underground readers—1,200 in all—that transmit data about the shot back to a computer monitor at your station. You then get an exact reading of how far your ball traveled and how close it came to the flag—assuming, of course, you hit the green.

It is terrific feedback. No more guessing, “Is that flag 150 or 175 yards?”

Golfers simply can spend their time hitting shots at those flags, like a regular practice session. But the real allure of TopGolf is being able to play games.

Consisting of 20 balls, TopGolf gives the player four options. The most basic game is scoring points by hitting balls into any of the 11 targets. Another game, called TopPressure, tests the short game by requiring players to chip into nine segments of a green.

You can play against yourself or in a group of up to four players.

The beauty of playing the games is that every shot counts. The T-O-P in TopGolf stands for “Target-Oriented Practice.”

The company also offers Top Chip and Top Putt. The Top Chip looks good, but photos of the Top Putt remind me of a low-end miniature golf course—one with the green, but no windmills or clown feet.

It’s a great idea, and I can see these finding a real home at one of the four seasons resorts in Northern Michigan. It would be very cool to come in off the slopes at Boyne, pick up my clubs and head over to an enclosed range for some golf practice. They’ve already got massive indoor water parks, so this would be a natural.

The Scotsman has a funny list of Christmas Wishes for the golf world. One sample:

To Rory Sabbatini: A brain

A South African by birth, a Texan by inclination and a complete dope by almost every other measure, Sabbatini last week withdrew from the Tiger Woods-hosted Target Challenge in California 18 short of the required 72 holes. Complaining of shin splints, he then made off in a Buick-provided courtesy car, the $170,000 last place cheque presumably tucked snugly into his back pocket.

Later that day, a similar vehicle was found abandoned outside a lap-dancing bar near LAX airport. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

In the wake of baseball’s steroid scandal, and the suspension of a couple of dozen Florida State players who were scamming a music history exam, it’s refreshing to find in golf a refuge from the cheaters.

The latest golfer to join the Honesty Hall of Fame is Brandt Snedeker. At last week’s Australian Open, Snedeker found himself in the rough on the 14th, and bent over to pick up a leaf. At that moment, the ball moved. Calling over partner Nick OHearn, Snedeker called a penalty on himself and took a double bogey six on the hole. He eventually ended up at nine under—one shot behind winner Craig Parry.

“I was trying to find out if there was any weight on the ball - I didn’t even try to move the leaf and the ball just moved,” Snedeker said.

“It was clear as day, there’s no ifs and or buts about it. I wouldn’t feel right not calling it on myself in a situation like that.

“Everybody has it happen to them once in their lifetime.”

That penalty stroke cost Snedeker nearly $200,000.

Bobby Jones, of course, once famously called a penalty on himself in the 1925 US Open, in spite of the fact that he was the only one who thought that the ball had moved. When asked why—when even tournament officials said there was no infraction—he had done so, Jones replied:

“You might as well praise me for not breaking into banks. There is only one way to play this game.”

Lucky for us, that spirit still pervades golf.

There’s a terrific column on this in the Sydney Morning Herald.